TGFV Newsletter — Middle School
Transitioning to Middle School
Middle school is an exciting time full of growth spurts, new friends, and challeneges. It is also a critical time when new friends may help kids stay safe and drug-free or make problem behavior more likely. At this age kids really want to fit in, making their choice of friends is more important than ever!
Did You Know?
During the transition into middle school, your child:
Needs your supervision more than ever?
Is more likely to bully or be bullied by other students?
Is more likely to assist a bully than be a target of bullying?
Is less likely to believe that drug use is harmful?
Is less likely to believe that drinking alcohol can have long term consequences?
Exercise: Who’s Who?
List your child’s five closest friends. Do you know them? Do you know their parents? Have you checked out their social media? What does your child like to do with them?
Defusing Teen Anger and Preventing Youth Violence
For teens, anger is often a reaction to what they see as limits of their freedom. When something triggers teenagers’ anger, their feelings can escalate (or get worse) quickly. In the early stages, teens can respond appropriately if parents listen actively, acknowledge their teen’s feelings, and calmly reinforce the limits. Yelling and escalating with the child only makes things worse, and may lead to physical attacks, shouting matches, or cutting remarks.
If teens are unable to calm down in the early stages of anger, they may get so angry that they lose control of themselves. At this crisis point, a parent’s most effective response may be, “Try to take a couple deep breaths with me,” or, “I want to help you and keep you safe, not fight with you.”
After the crisis, if either you or your teen have not handles your anger well, it’s time for apologies. Prompt your teen to apologize for poor behavior by apologizing for any mistakes you may have made, or by asking if they understand where you are coming from. Discuss the situation calmly and talk about how things could have turned out differently, as well as what you plan to do differently next time. If there is no immediate solution to the conflict, agree to come back to it later to work on.
To help teens deal with conflicts, follow the ABC’s of solving conflicts:
A - Attack the problem, not the person.
B - Brainstorm together.
C - Consider consequences and choose a win/win resolution where possible. If you can’t reach a solution that satisfies both of you, agree to disagree. It’s okay to have opposing points of view.
Resources for Families with Middle School Students
Kids Health — kidshealth.org
U.S. Department of Education — ed.gov
Child Mind Institute — childmind.org
Healthy Children — healthychildren.org
Parenting Teens & Tweens — parentingteensandtweens.com
Source: A Parent’s Guide to Childhood and Adolescence
