Violence Among Teens — Middle School
Dear Parents,
Violence is the number one public health problem in America today, and it is preventable. This newsletter will encourage students and parents to work together to help their home, school, and community be a peaceful place. Please take the time to do the activities in this newsletter together and to discuss ways that you, as a family, can prevent violence.
Violence is not acceptable, and by working together, we can prevent it!
Test Your Conflict Quotient (CQ)
Answer these questions together, student and adult can each respond True or False. When you’ve each answered, compare and discuss responses while comparing to the answers provided at the end of the article!
In every conflict, there is a winner and a loser.
The best thing to do about conflict is avoid it.
The first thing to do in a conflict is to find out who is right.
Conflicts destory friendships, marriages, and other relationships.
Conflicts are a normal and natural part of life.
We can learn how to keep disagreements from becoming fights.
Parents Matter
When a parent is physically present in the home at key times during the day (in the morening, after school, at dinner, and at bedtime), children are protected from harmful and risky behaviors.
As a parent, what can you do?
Notice what your child is doing.
Stay involved. Ask questions. Resist the urge to “check out”.
Monitor your child’s behavior.
Do frequent check ins on your child’s social media accounts. Know who they are spending time with both in real life and virutally.
State rules clearly.
Consider posting the house rules in a common area in the home. It doesn’t need to be fancy, hand written on a piece of paper would work! Then everyone in the home is, by default, aware of the expecations.
Make rewards and punishments contingent on behavior.
Ensure that they are age appropriate both for rewards and punishments. Younger children may struggle to reach goals set over a longer span of time, whereas older children may become bored with exclusively short term goals.
Negotiate disagreements so that conflicts do not escalate.
Don’t be afraid to take a breather and come back to the conversation when you’re calm. Remember, the goal here isn’t “winning”, it’s communicating.
10 Good Ways to Get Involved in Your Child’s School
When parents are involved in the school, kids are less likely to become violent, use drugs, or participate in other problem behavior.
Ask, “What happened in school today?”
Help your child set a daily schedule for homework.
Make a space for doing homework.
Help with homework.
Call a teacher to ask how your child is doing.
Participate in your school’s PTA.
Attend a school board meeting.
Attend parent-teacher conferences.
Send a teacher a note of encouragement or appreciation.
Volunteer to help at school.
Create a Family Calendar
Keep track of family schedules on one calendar. Post it in a porminent place and ask each family member to write upcoming activities on the calendar and keep them current. Discuss the details for every activity: who, what, when, and where. Setting up rules and routines now will help you to monitor activites and stay involved.
What’s My Name?
Unscramble the name of the famous person who made each of these statements. Discuss what these quotes mean to each family member.
“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” — IRDAIN HAGNID
“If we meet hate with hate, there will be more hate. From violence comes more violence.” — INAMRT HULRET NIGK
“We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world - or to make it the last.” — HONJ NEKDENY
“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” — AELOENR OESTELOVR
“You can’t hold a man down without staying down with him.” — OKBREO HNGTAWSNI
Answers to Test Your Conflict Quotient:
False. If you think of a conflict as a contest, you will work against the other person, and at least one of you (and maybe both) will lose. But if you think of a conflict as a problem-solving partnership, both of you can win.
False. A conflict is a problem. If you avoid a problem, it is unlikely to go away and is very likely to get worse.
False. Because people see the same thing in different ways, both people may be right.
False. Whenever tehre are two people, there will be conflicts. It’s not the conflict that destroy relationships, but the way the conflicts are handled.
True. Because no two people are exactly the same, they are bound to disagree some times.
True. By staying calm, focusing on the problem, listening to both sides, and brainstorming for solutions that please both of you, you can keep your conflicts from becoming fights.
Answers to “What’s My Name?”
Indira Gandhi
Martin Luther King
John Kennedy
Eleanor Roosevelt
Booker Washington
